Refusal of the Return

"This whole world of the Kamaswami people had only been a game to him, a dance, a comedy which on watches. Only Kamala was dear to him--had been of value to him--but was she still? Did he still need her--did she still need him? Were they not playing a game without an end? Was it necessary to live for it? No. This game was called Samsara, a game for children, a game which was perhaps enjoyable played once, twice, ten times--but was it worth playing continually?" (84)

In order for there to be a return, there must be some sort of refusal before and some state they were in that prevented them from progressing. In Siddhartha's case, before he reached enlightenment through the river his life as a rich, selfish gambler is what was blocking him from reaching enlightenment or Nirvana. The years he spent in the state is where he had a refusal of the return. He spent much time suffering with internal conflict, and not sure which world he'd rather be apart of. The thrilling, materialistic world that sickened him, or the new world of Nirvana that he would have to suffer to potentially reach. This quote helps establish the refusal of the return by revealing both sides of Siddhartha's options. The struggle between what world he wants to take on is what is holding him back from advancing on his journey to enlightenment. He knows that the world his is living in is all just a game. What he doesn't know is if it's "worth playing continually." Siddhartha has to ask himself is the life he living really how he wants to continue to live.